sabenzero:

omnicat:

genalovestoons:

kungphooey:

my headcanon here is that legolas is just BARELY visibly holding it together

since canon tells us that mirkwood elves like to party and are fully capable of passing out from drunk

so legolas is using EVERYTHING HE HAS to fuck with gimli and pretend he hasn’t a clue what it’s like to be affected by alcohol

while inside he’s all ‘sdkla;hgsj you can do this leggles you can do this’

‘don’t think about that time you blacked out from dorwinion wine while naked in the middle of an impromptu archery contest’

‘and all your friends drew orc penises on your face’

‘and when you woke up you were halfway to dale without a clue as to how you got there’

‘And especially don’t think about that time you drank so much that the dwarves you were supposed to be watching escaped in the empty barrels of wine.’

‘Dad never let me hear the end of that one’

Leggles

While all of the above is great, I’d like to offer that dwaven ‘ale’ probably isn’t made from barley.  they live underground.  what grows underground? Mushrooms.  I’m saying Dwarven Ale is halucinogenic.  I’m saying Legolas was tripping balls.

(via madtheminihulk)

aurellharmonics:

lamisdelabc:

RED, THE BLOOD OF ANGRY MENimage

TEA, A DRINK WITH JAM AND BREAD

image

heLP I DON’T KNOW WHICH TUNE TO SING IT IN

SO LONG, FAREWELL, AUF WEIDERSENG GOOD BYE.

LOOK DOWN, LOOK DOWN, YOU’RE HERE UNTIL YOU DIE.

(via goldilocks-ate-the-three-bears)

thenoodlebooty:

luigigrivera:

i can’t stop laughting

This was an adventure

thenoodlebooty:

luigigrivera:

i can’t stop laughting

This was an adventure

(via madtheminihulk)

starkiest:

startrekrenegades:

What’s better than a waterslide? A tiny waterslide for ducklings! [x]

OH MY GOD

(via blogofimpossiblethings)

foreverpruned:

black-american-queen:

dapenguinninja:

giddytf2:

gyrojojo:

leylatimur:

yeeees
why is Ursula shunned from King Triton’s society? does it have something to do with being more powerful than him? why does King Triton have a magical trident, being otherwise a pretty regular merman? Ursula is a witch, if anyone should have a magical artifact it should be her, did King Triton steal it?
and finally, Ursula didn’t do Ariel much wrong
Ariel wanted some legs (and a vagina) and Ursula told her flat out that in the surface world you can have a vagina or a voice, not both
i’d watch the hell out of a movie about Ursula

“Ursula told her flat out that in the surface world you can have a vagina or a voice, not both”
ohhhh shit though, ursula was being too real about the world
although perhaps a bit too literal

Okay, these were all excellent points and I’ll never see The Little Mermaid the same way again.

I laughed at that caption at first then the reality actually hit me

you can have a vagina or a voice, not both”

foreverpruned:

black-american-queen:

dapenguinninja:

giddytf2:

gyrojojo:

leylatimur:

yeeees

why is Ursula shunned from King Triton’s society? does it have something to do with being more powerful than him? why does King Triton have a magical trident, being otherwise a pretty regular merman? Ursula is a witch, if anyone should have a magical artifact it should be her, did King Triton steal it?

and finally, Ursula didn’t do Ariel much wrong

Ariel wanted some legs (and a vagina) and Ursula told her flat out that in the surface world you can have a vagina or a voice, not both

i’d watch the hell out of a movie about Ursula

Ursula told her flat out that in the surface world you can have a vagina or a voice, not both”

ohhhh shit though, ursula was being too real about the world

although perhaps a bit too literal

Okay, these were all excellent points and I’ll never see The Little Mermaid the same way again.

I laughed at that caption at first then the reality actually hit me

you can have a vagina or a voice, not both”

(via dweebscar)

brispeak:

colamania:

spazztastikim:

comebackxkid:

dynastylnoire:

insidehishead:

some of the most sensitive areas of the female body

look at all the regions that are not titties and vagina guys
porn has lied to you. there are other places you can touch that sensitive and pleasurable. 

Oh yeah because I’m just gonna rub her eyes until a she’s horny

Kiss her there you walnut! Use tenderness! Hold her face gently and stroke her eyelids with your thumb and then kiss them! Run your hands down to her neck when you do! THINK!!! Lordie, you have a lot to learn that TOUCH gives more than making her “horny” you’ll drive her nuts doing gentle stuff! It’s trust! It’s care! It’s sensitivity! *smacks your forehead* You want her to be numb in complete ecstasy! I know this shit and I’m ASEXUAL! 

Reblogging purely for the beautiful use of the word “walnut” as an insult.

I think I like walnut as an insult too cause it looks like a brain but it is not one…

brispeak:

colamania:

spazztastikim:

comebackxkid:

dynastylnoire:

insidehishead:

some of the most sensitive areas of the female body

look at all the regions that are not titties and vagina guys

porn has lied to you. there are other places you can touch that sensitive and pleasurable. 

Oh yeah because I’m just gonna rub her eyes until a she’s horny

Kiss her there you walnut! Use tenderness! Hold her face gently and stroke her eyelids with your thumb and then kiss them! Run your hands down to her neck when you do! THINK!!! Lordie, you have a lot to learn that TOUCH gives more than making her “horny” you’ll drive her nuts doing gentle stuff! It’s trust! It’s care! It’s sensitivity! *smacks your forehead* You want her to be numb in complete ecstasy! I know this shit and I’m ASEXUAL! 

Reblogging purely for the beautiful use of the word “walnut” as an insult.

I think I like walnut as an insult too cause it looks like a brain but it is not one…

(via chemicalmuffin)

poochcrew:

This dog gets all the chicks

poochcrew:

This dog gets all the chicks

quil-ava:

uxxxie:

got this snapchat from my friend in japan

fuck me with these condoms or don’t fuck me at all

quil-ava:

uxxxie:

got this snapchat from my friend in japan

fuck me with these condoms or don’t fuck me at all

(via dweebscar)

romaea:

Victorian Houses

(via chemicalmuffin)

th1syearsgirl:

K, but, James had a friend facing bigotry and he became an illegal animagus to help make that friend’s life better.

Snape had a friend facing bigotry and he joined up with the bigots.

Like end of contest, bye

(via dotdotdotsuave)